::Unwanted Stares::
*~Asalam'alaykum wr wb~*
I hate how some guys feel that its neccessary for them to remark on how a girl looks or stare blatantly as she walks by. What's even more annoying is when the girl doesn't provoke it.As most you are probably aware, NYC, like San Fransisco and London, has a "walking culture," where you are definitely more exposed. The comments and staring are ignorable of course, but what about when it effects your daily routine somehow? Recently i've had to deal with this.
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I always get my coffee from this one cute little coffee shop that's, thank god, not Starbucks and is surprisingly owned by a sikh guy. He's like an "uncle" sort of guy and quite friendly. Well recently his son has started working there and now I have to avoid my favorite coffee shop like the plague! Everytime I go into the place i'm subject to comments, innuendos and mass amounts of flirtation, all of which I really don't want, need, or provoke! Actually I barely speak ( haha a shocker I know!) other than give my order and try to escape as fast as possible. I think its unfair that I now have to deprive myself of my favorite thing because of some dumb guy! And to make things worse, the place is right in front of the subway station I take, meaning I have to pass by everyday and see him. I'm thinking that if I keep ignoring him, he'll get the point, but if not, then maybe i should just say something...?
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wasalaam,
Madiha :)
posted by MnM310 at 12:10 PM
30 Comments:
Sis, I totally feel your pain! Why the hell are guys such losers? Women never do that kinda crap.. I dunno if you should say anything though - he might start spitting in your latte! Maybe you should just wear a big rock on your ring finger and talk about your fianceé...
drag him to the gallows :fist:
Dont let this clown deprive you of your coffee! Get your coffee and tell him to get lost. If that doesnt work, snitch on him to his dad and say that hes gonna lose business if his son doesnt put a leash on his hormones.
Or plan C: I can come and pay him a little visit
hanna: haha well he makes the latte's rite in front..but ur right and i was thinking of the ring thing too actually..mite help me out and thats the only way these typa guys are deterred..otherwise they're just dumb and when u are finally mean to them, u get labled as a bitch. :O
b'hood: lol... i give u full permission to take him there! :p
zahera: salaams z! hell no, no attn seeking w/ this one! I seriously answer him in mono syllables! hahah waving?! how lame... but kinda cute..like a lil puppy :p But now u reminded me of this other paki restaraunt near my school..where this guys always making comments too! ahhhh...its so annoying that even other muslim guys (mostly fob's sadly) feel they have the right to do that! I mean wth?!
Would a girl ever do that? And..what makes guys think that they have the right to do it? And wut makes em think girls LIKE it!?! sheesh! lol
iboo: can't really aruge w/ him..just hope that he gets the point @ my lack of friendliness u know? yea and i like my coffee dammit! lol
Altho..ur plan C is quite tempting... and M & I are planning things we can do when u come to visit...so This may be #1 on the list of things to do! LOL :D
wasalaam! :)
~ Madiha ~
Not saying this applies to you but I always find girls are super sensitive about this....a lot of the time they seem to get the wrong impression....
I feel your pain. This happened to me at a Dunkin' Donuts here in NY. I went in one morning as I usually do to get my bagel and whatnot... Well, it's a long story, you can read it at my blog if you want, it's in the archives under the month of February, "Scumbags Revisited." Grrr.... But yeah, so annoying!!! Its ok if you are on the street and people take a passing glance, that happens all the time and it's fine, whatever. But when someone starts talking to you and says the stupidest things ever, uff... you just wanna run him over with your car! Which I was so very tempted to do.
did u say he was the son of a sikh uncle? a sardar? So that make shim Sardar too right? ha... the ignoring definately wont get u anywhere.. ;) muahah..im so evil....if u get it..:-p
i think u shud jsut look him in the eye and be like "lissen up nigga, dis shawtaay is not interested...peace outttttt" and jsut walk out and flip ur hair too:-p or plan 2: tell his dad hes harrassing you...his dad will give him sum pitaaii...:-D and make sureu tell the dad that u feel wierd even coming in now :-D
orrr alternatively the next time he gives u some of that unwanted attn just look at him and be like "are you 4 real?..puhleezzze" :-p
we'll chat;)
peace
-resident anony
I feel your pain blad. Being treated like a piece of meat is across I have learned to bear.
You should tell him that his flirtacious behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable. I know how you feel, some men think that you are suppose to bow down to them and act all flattered because they think you are attractive. I scared off this one guy who went to my school, when he wouldnt leave me alone. Every time I would talk to him, no matter what he would say I would just laugh really ridiculously loud, and of course people stared. He stopped talking to me after that, I guess he was embarassed but hey he made me feel emarassed first! Lol, but for real just ignore him and eventually he will get bored. :)
By the way whats a fob? :)
fob=fresh off the boat= madiha. :-D
lol okok yea fob = fresh off the boat...meaning hmm...how i splain this? okay lemme 'splain you ...vell...vat i mean to say iz....vat u say it? any1? hmm.. vell...if i am correct fob iz ven sumvun tawlks like this..u follow me? sumvun who savitches the wees and duble u's..yaani/matlab weteran for veteran and velcome for welcome.... u got me?
zahera..i enjoy ur posts too :)
almira: good advice..but can't really imagine madiha doing that... but hmm kudos to you.
hey mash..lying is haraam.
:)
madiha: im jking about the fob and u being one :) hey u u have yet to reply to previous comments..and now this one..mine better be extra long! woooohooo! *insert MSN yippee smiley*
peace out
Ibrahim: yea some do..but trust me, in this case, there's no denying the fools flirting..and badly too *shakes head* if ain't got game playa..take it elsewhere!
Sarah: yea i'ma totally check out ur post..but trust me i wanna smack him too.
anony: LMAO! ur on crack i swear :p yea well i think i've found a new & better coffee place w/ free wifi! lol so i tuff for him neways...
z: lol :P
mash: haha oh yea? i dont know if guys feel the same way. I think ya'll would like to be hit on...?
altho it won't be coming from me :p
almira: i dont know if i could do that..i think i'm a lil too vain to make myself look weird lol..altho i think ignoring him is the best policy. Thats wut i do to random dudes on the streets too..pretend i didnt hear em. (fyi headphone in the ear are lifesavers) ..and now u know wut a fob is (a recent immigrant to the country..literally fresh off the boat) hehe...
anony: u tryna steal my spotlight! :O lol naw j/k..ur nuts tho!
wasalaam everyone gotta get bak to studying!
Madiha :D
Salaam This is why I like Islam to those who follow the Qur'an, lower your gaze oh men!I understand .Whish you well.Inshallah Allah swt be with you
let him chat you up and if he asks for your number ...use your own advice :"If you're in the U.S. go to www.rejectionhotline.com for your city's local number "
muhahahaha
Thanks, now I know what a fob is. :)
no broplem almira....
madiha i am so not trying to steal your spotlight :-p don't get jelly cuz your visitors like me better:-p
just kidding :)
catch you ...online?
ws
"lol okok yea fob = fresh off the boat...meaning hmm...how i splain this? okay lemme 'splain you ...vell...vat i mean to say iz....vat u say it? any1? hmm.. vell...if i am correct fob iz ven sumvun tawlks like this..u follow me? sumvun who savitches the wees and duble u's..yaani/matlab weteran for veteran and velcome for welcome.... u got me?"
LOL hehe
you gotta posttttttttttttt
iono about all of you...but girls always do that to me =]...wtf ima whoop this fool's ass!
Why dont you just say something and free the poor soul from his misery..
"Not Interested"
"Least bothered"
"Totally Annoyed"
I am sure if you paint him the correct picture he will realise that its no point knocking at your door.
Salaamaleykum...
lol..that sucks.Have u complaint to sadarji?..lol
Its, saddly, a global pandemic nowadays.
I cant say even here, as a muslim country,the girls are free from the lustrous eyes of certain youths.
Alhamdulillah for the burqawalis/Niqaabis.
okay fyi..that anony^ was not THIS anony(the resident anony!)..:)
madihaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i misssssssssss uuuuuuuuu sooooooooooooooooo mucccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhh...and i second brotherhoods proposal..eh i mean proposition :-D
peaceeeee
Mahida post soon I wanted to know what happend with the guy at the coffe shop :) Perhaps he went back on the boat!
OK PPL I'M WORKING ON A BLOG POST RITE NOW..BUT I'LL RESPOND TO YOUR COMMENTS FIRST :P
zingy: salaams girly..yea definitely why they're asked to lower their gaze...same goes for boys what goes for girls! Some ppl tend to forget.
sha: LOL good point..but then its hard to do to someone who u'd see more than once.
almira: haha yup :p
anon: wuts this bout jelly LOL
khadijah: lmao!
b'hood: doing it..sheesh, wut are u some kinda slave driver! :p
nabby: haha oh yea im'a beat up those girls! *grrr* :p maybe ur just weird looking!
farsh: mmm cuz its harder to do than say man! and i just hope he'd get it w/ my "mean-ness" & cold shoulder.
anon: walaikumasalam :) yea seriously its very inescapable! *shakes head* gets on my nerves so much. Especially the fact that you dont the attn!
anon: haha i could tell dummy :p
almira:hah ok i'll fill ya in for sure! :D
wasalaam everyone..and thanks for prompting me to write..sometimes i get too lazy! :p
ok i read the post, but am too lazy to read the coments, so someone may have said this but...
...use it as an opportunity to order ur coffee...do some da'wah..pay and then get the hell out. 5 mins of da'wah a day and within a year ishallah he'll be marriage material..lol
hes a Sardarrr maaaaaan....
I don't know I've never tried to hit on or flirt with women, however I get a lot of negative treatment from women for no reason.
The problem is because they seem to take everything so seriously and be bitchy about things are so small and insignificant in life.
under*cuver*sister* lol its ok..o they didnt..but then again..the thing w/ some guys is that they just keep flirting..and then giving "dawah" can mm just turn against u. ya know wut i mean?
anony: lol yea exactly!
muslim freedom: LOL i'm sorry but ur comment kinda made me laugh cuz for some reason, i could just pictured u saying wut u wrote a la napolean dynamite! ok ok i'm over it... so look, there has to be a real reason why chicks give you "bad looks, treatment, etc.." most girls are quite nice, hey dont u see my dillemma?! here i am trying to figure out a 'nice' way to turn down teh dude, do u see me bitching to him or being mean to him? no way! sooo, i dont think its a good idea to lump all the sis's together..
cuz hey, i could say that all boys hit on girls and are total pigs! would that be true bout u? probly not iA :)
take it easy and smile..cuz u konw wut they say... to smile is sunnah :D
wasalaam,
Madiha
Madiha did you major in patronising people?
me? lol no way! *angel* :p
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