::Who's older?::

*~ Asalam'alaykum wr wb* ~

Ashton and Demi, Jutin and Cameron are all doing it and it seems to be the latest craze in Hollywood. "It" is the fact that older women are marrying/dating younger men. Ironically, for once Hollywood seems to be promoting an Islamic sunnah. Since we can't date, we can still consider the question of whether it is really so off the wall for a girl to marry a younger man?

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In many cultures, especially including my own Pakistani culture, a girl marrying younger than her is quite taboo and talked about in hush hush tones. When does this kind of marriage cross the line into the land known as "robbing the cradle." We commonly hear of men marrying girls much younger than them, hey, often times it seems like the younger the better! Why is it then ok for a man to marry a girl 20 years younger than him in our communities, but if a girl ever even entertained the idea of purusing a boy 20 years younger, WOAH, bring out the stakes and get the lighter fluid ready. Something like that can never be allowed! But if we look to Rasulallah as an example we know that Khadijah (raa) was older than the Prophet (saw). Surely, following the sunnah cannot and should not be considered wrong.

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All these various classifications are so engrained in our minds and in our upbringing that I find that I too pause when I hear a boy marrying an older girl or vice versa. Then again, maybe a 20 year age gap is a bit pretentious because even for Western standards its a little wide. How young is too young though? To me it all depends on the guy.The requirment should be subjective because its difficult to just say, "oh i think 1 year younger should be the max." Some guys still act 19 when they're 30 or some 19 year olds act 30 at their age....

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wasalaam,

Madiha :)