la la land....

* Asalam'alaykum *

Lately, I've been hearing a lot about "the perfect wife." How to find someone who's wife material, how girls should be/act, etc...you get the point. How about going the other way...finding a husband? It's true that many times sisters have a harder time finding deen-y brothers, cuz most of the time, the younger guys like to have a little fun before hitting up the marriage wagon. So, sisters usually get gyped and are more likely to find guys who are older and have already had their fun....

But what about those guys who wanna get married @ a younger age?

****

It is mentioned in hadith that a woman has the right to have a muslim husband whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Qur'an and Sunnah and To be clothed and fed as well as the husband, from his means.


Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one
of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from
their means. (Qur'an 4:34)


****

More importantly, guys haveta remember one thing; that, yes, of course, without a doubt, deen is imortant, along with things like compatibility, appearance, etc... But for a girl, especially one that's mature, stability and security should be just as, if not more, imperative when looking for a husband. And please, by this I don't mean he's gotta be like P.Diddy, he just hasta be able to provide! I don't understand why some guys don't see that as a major issue. I feel that wanting stability is being practical not superficial, as some may like to believe. Fine, if your definition of a husband being able to provide is getting a Mansion in the 90210 zip, driving a Benz and having life-long membership @ the beach club, then you're probably superficial, but what's wrong with wanting a husband who can at least give you a comfortable life?

****

Yea, the definition of "provide" varies from girl to girl, but we generally tend to agree that it hasta be enough to give a girl security and stability . That means that the girl has the ability to make her decision based on that second ("providing for") criteria too. If you hadn't noticed, but the hadith I quoted above, basically has two elements to it:

A) A woman has the right to have a muslim husband whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj
(methodology) is Qur'an and Sunnah And,

B) To be clothed and fed as well as the husband, from his means.

Thats a conjunctive "And," meaning that the 2 parts go hand in hand; if both aren't met then one cancels the other. I don't feel then that wanting a guy for stability reason is a cultural or societal norm thats been ingrained in us. The point i'm trying to make is then, that guys who want to get married early, meaning when they still have schooling to finish and a job to find, should consider waiting, only because they may not be able to provide with stablity and security, and a girl who rejects a guy for those reasons isn't neccessarily being supeficial, not to mention that its also her right.

****

One argument a younger guy could make is that he'd provide with his family. Kind of like, fine, if you want a comfortable life, we can live with my parents and that too is providing. I agree. Still, what about security and stability? I'm not trying to talk in "if's," but one very plausible If worth entertaining is, how about if something happens to his family (nauthobillah)? Will he still be able to provide that stability and security? Am I justified in considering that, or am I being too picky? I didn't think so. That IF my only question to the "Can he provide with stability and securiy" criteria.

****

Just so i'm clear, i'm not supporting the cultural, especially desi culture, requirements for providing. The one's that demand a guy to be rich as Trump or have a PhD or wutever. I'm just saying that wanting #1 Deen an then #2 "Being able to Provide," are understandable requirments and should not offend younger guys who want to get married, but who get rejected because they don't fulfill #2 yet. Doesn't mean he shouldn't or can't get married, just means that he should wait or find a girl who's definitions of "provide for" is more along the lines of what his are.

*****

Allahumma inne asaloka wal amaan e wal imaan fid dunya wal akhera. {Ameen}

-- Oh Allah I ask of you peace & faith in this world & in the hereafter --



wasalaam :)

Me Gustan Mucho: Free Downloads :P

~ ~ Asalam'alaykum ~ ~

I'll add more later but, here are some of my favorite nasheeds and, also, let me know of any your favorites! Click on the links to download. :)

*** Arabic ***

Ya Nabi Salam Alayk

Tabala'3

Ya Nabi Salam-un Alaika 2

Daar Al'3oroor

Tabaraka Allah

Qaseedah Burda Sharif (NEW)

*** Urdu ***

Kya Khabar Kya Saza Milti

Aahl el-e Siraat

Sadly, I couldn't get these next songs onto the web, but check out this group,

NIYAZ

They're really good. Make sure to listen to:

1. Allahi Allah
2. Dilruba
3. The Hunt



wasalaam :)


*** If you really want one of Niyaz's songs, email me and i'll send it to you personally! ***

Quote.

*~ Asalam'alaykum ~*

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

-J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye


Pretty much sums up what i've learned thus far in law school. ::LOL::



Wasalaam :)

::Tyte. Word. Of. The. Week::

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

They see me rolling..they hatin'..patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty

- - Chamillionaire

wasalaam :P

Crisis.

DARFUR CONFLICT: The World's Worst Current Humanitarian Crisis

Many people, including me, are clueless about one of the major crisis of the recent past. The conflict has been described by the Western media as "ethnic cleansing" and "genocide." In September 2004, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated 50,000 deaths in Darfur since the conflict's beginning, mostly by starvation.


*** I KNOW THAT THIS IS KINDA LONG TO READ, BUT IF ANYTHING, AT LEAST READ SOME OF THE MAIN POINTS IN ORDER TO BECOME AWARE OF THE SITUATION. AS FELLOW MUSLIMS & HUMAN BEGINS WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED & COMPASSIONATE TO THE PLIGHT OF OTHERS ***

There is no power nor strength save with Allah. We worship You and we seek help from You, O Allah, O beneficent, O merciful, O single, O the eternally besought independent, O the God of Muhammad, in Your direction steps advance, hearts long to go, eyes gaze, necks stretch (to reach the goal), desires desire (fulfillment) and palms (hands) are lifted. O Allah, take a fair decision between us and our people, because You are the best
of all those who decide. {Ameen}

* The conflict concerns two distinct groups in the diverse Darfur population; non-Arab black peoples like the Fur, Masalit, and Zaghawa, and Arab tribes collectively termed Baggara (also black by the standards of most non-Africans), who settled the region from about the 13th century onwards. Both groups are Muslims. However, relations between the two groups have been tense; the pre-colonial Fur kingdom regularly clashed with the Baggara.

What are other nations doing? Well this is where they stand...

*Russian and the U.S., along with Britain and France, a strong lobby exists opposed to intervention in countries whose internal strife is not clearly related to the nation's own interest (America and France having suffered demoralizing losses in Vietnam, as well as in Somalia and Algeria, respectively). The lack of capable foreign peacekeepers during the Rwanda and Liberia crises is a more recent example.

* Islamic Relief Action: Islamic Relief is working with around 35,000 people in and around the western town of Al-Geneina. Islamic Relief's emergency team began work in Darfur in April 2004, providing displaced people with food and shelter.





How did the conflict start?

* The conflict began in the arid and impoverished region early in 2003 after a rebel group began attacking government targets, claiming that the region was being neglected by Khartoum.

* The rebels say the government is oppressing black Africans in favour of Arabs.

* There has been tension in Darfur, which means land of the Fur, for many years over land and grazing rights between the mostly nomadic Arabs and farmers from the Fur, Massaleet and Zagawa communities.

* There are two main rebel groups, the Sudan Liberation Army (SLA) and the Justice and Equality Movement (Jem), which have been linked to senior Sudanese opposition politician Hassan al-Turabi.


What is the government doing?

*It admits mobilising "self-defence militias" following rebel attacks but denies any links to the Janjaweed**, accused of trying to "cleanse" large swathes of territory of black Africans.

*Refugees from Darfur say that following air raids by government aircraft, the Janjaweed ride into villages on horses and camels, slaughtering men, raping women and stealing whatever they can find.

*Many women report being abducted by the Janjaweed and held as sex slaves for more than a week before being released. Human rights groups, the US Congress and the former US Secretary of State Colin Powell all said that genocide was taking place - though a UN team sent to Sudan to find out instead said that war crimes had been committed, but there had been no intent to commit genocide.

*Sudan's government denies being in control of the Janjaweed and President Omar al-Bashir has called them "thieves and gangsters".

*After strong international pressure and the threat of sanctions, the government promised to disarm the Janjaweed. But there is little evidence of this so far. Thousands of extra policemen have been deployed but the refugees have little faith in the Sudanese security forces.

What has happened to the civilians?

*Millions have fled their destroyed villages, with many heading for camps near Darfur's main towns but there is not enough food, water or medicine.

*The Janjaweed patrol outside the camps and Darfurians say the men are killed and the women raped if they venture too far in search of firewood or water.

Is anyone trying to stop the fighting?

*The government and the two rebel groups signed a ceasefire in April 2004 but this has not held.

* African Union brokered peace talks in Nigeria have failed to make much progress.
Some 7,000 African Union troops have slowly been deployed in Darfur on a very limited mandate.
Experts say they are too few to cover an area the size of France and the African Union says it does not have the money to fund the operation for much longer.

* Sudan is unhappy with suggestions that the UN take control of the peacekeeping mission.

* A dossier of evidence compiled by a UN commission has also been passed to the ICC in The Hague along with the names of top war crimes suspects.

* The Sudan government has hinted that it may let Darfur run its own affairs more if this would help solve the crisis. It has agreed to let southern Sudan have its own government as part of a deal to end 20 years of conflict in that region.


* But so far the crisis shows no signs of abating
.




For More Info and To Get Involved Visit:

www.humanrightsfirst.org/

http://www.islamic-relief.com/

wasalaam :)


** The Janjaweed (Arabic جنجويد, ) is an armed militia group in Darfur, western Sudan, comprising fighters of Arab background (mainly from the originally nomadic Baggara people). Since 2003 it has been one of the principal actors in the increasingly bloody Darfur conflict, which has pitted nomadic tribes against the settled arable farmer tribes of the region. The Janjaweed represent the ruling Muslim government.

The name "Janjaweed" means "armed men on horseback." The Janjaweed is the successor to an earlier Arab tribal militia, the Murahilin (literally "nomads"), which had existed for many years beforehand.

sources:
www.wikipedia.com
www.cnn.com
www.bbc.com

*~ asalaam'alyakum ~*



... SUBHAN'ALLAH **** ALHUMDULILLLAH ...

Just felt like saying that...especially cuz things seem to be going my way :P



wasalaam :)

Deer in the Headlights...

*~Asalamu' Alaykum~*

So, it took me about a lil over a week to blog this, mmm, awkward moment. Maybe cuz i'm embarrassed to admit it...but..anyways...

Early last week, I got an evite from these two girls i'd met only once at some Muslim social event. The evite was for an "urdu" party, a party where supposedly everyone is only allowed to converse in urdu and eat desi food (already sounded kinda gay...) But, i'm a good sport, and I didn't really know anyone on the list, but i'm up for meeting new people, especially since i'm new.

The night of the party, one of my friends and I headed down to Angon, an Indian/Bangali restaurant in the East Village where the party was being held. The restaurant was this classy ( yea i know, sounds like an oxymoron) desi restaurant that didn't have a very desi-like look to it. It was pretty small, with dark lighting, candles, a red and gold color scheme, and all together, a very romantic atmosphere { its already getting scary lol} I, off the bat, categorized it as the type that only the wannabe desi's go to. {lol} But whatever, as long as the food was good!

After giving our names, the maitre d' pointed us in the direction of the party. Lets just say that the guests were an "interesting" bunch for lack of a better term. There were about 30 guys and girls, all seated around a long table. My friend and I introduced ourselves to the hostesses, who are best friends, and took a seat at this more private table for two next to the long table. After about 2 minutes the hostesses came up to us and asked if we minded getting introduced to everyone. I was game. After introductions I asked the two hostesses how they knew everyone. They casually said, "We don't. They're all off of naseeb. Only a couple of our friends are here, but otherwise yea."

Whaaa!!!???!!! Lets just say that I was shocked beyond words, and thats quite a feat for me! lol. Madiha out of words? Never! Well it happened, folks. If i went to a naseeb event without knowledge of it being one, does that constitute really going to a Naseeb event?? There was false advertisement! The evite never said a thing! hahaha...Well anyways, after that shock died down, mostly because I got some good food... I was able to calm down. lol

So, now you want to know what a naseeb "meeting" event is like? Well...*rubs hands together* There's mostly whack people for sure, but some normal people with jobs or a future. The crowd ranged from playboys, to hoochies, to hijabi's, fobs, fobbettes (a girl fob?), etc... In the end, my friend and I couldn't just leave, but we ended up hanging out together and even ran into a friend who'd been dragged there with her other friend. Really though, I didn't make friends with anyone else. I'm not being a snob or anything, its just hard to see eye to eye with some people like that. Oh, one guy did approach us! A freakn desi carbon copy of Chris Kattan from A Night At The Roxbury! No seriously, all he could talk about was trans music and dancing...a 26 year old too! ::rolling eyes:: Ahh well..another thing to learn from. At least they had good chai! And being a desi, I love my chai! yum, LOL :P

wasalaam :)


Stuff to know...

*** East Village: http://www.nycvisit.com/content/index.cfm?pagePkey=438 ***
*** Chris Kattan (left): http://www.kinoweb.de/film99/NightAtTheRoxbury/pix/rox2.jpg ***

~ Love Advice ~

LOVE IS LIKE A LAWSUIT....

YOU NEED EVIDENCE





~ Imam Maghroui

Wasalaam :P

A day for EVERYTHING! Sheesh!

~Asalamu' alaykum~

These gore people always haveta come up w/ some "DAY," for everything! National Peanut Day, Pecan Pie Day, Corn on the Cob Day, I mean dude, come on! (btw these are all true days..lol) So, today is April 20th, 4/20, 420, 4:20, Hitler's B-day, the day of the Columbine shootings, or...more notoriously, National Pot Day. (astaghfurallah)


How do I know this? Well, I did grow up in California. I remember kids in high school running around trying to bury their weed in the baseball field because they didn't want to get caught, especially because all the school officials were aware that it was 420. I'd like to point out that i'm from a very WASP-y neigborhood, where kids come from highly afluent families, but that doesn't prevent kids from smoking! Hell no, having money only makes it easier! If thats a shock to you, well then you should probably step outta your bubble....

So what's 420? I'm including this lil blurb about what the day is all about to inform those that are unaware. I think its important to know whats going on around us and thats why I wrote about 420. I hope no one believes that i'm in any way supporting this or agreeing w/ it!

In the 21st Century, 420 is firmly established as a code amongst tokers, a time
of day and even sort of a toker's New Year's Day. Whatever the real story
is, 420 has been an important part of the marijuana culture since the 1970's.
The significance of 420 has been kept underground and is mostly known only among
marijuana smokers. Many non-smokers aren't aware of the symbolism when they see
someone wearing a T-shirt or baseball cap that says 420 across the front. When
the 420 icon is somehow discreetly worked into a mainstream product like a film,
marijuana users take notice. The film Pulp Fiction is rumored to have had all
clocks throughout the movie set to 4:20. Marijuana smokers familiar with the
symbol picked up on it—most people, however, did not. While some marijuana
smokers are using 420 as a code that enables them to openly speak about
marijuana in front of parents or teachers. 420 has been to some, a sacred symbol
for nearly 30 years. Simply put, 420 is a symbol of cannabis and its culture.
Today, April 20th events are international, and 4:20 pm has become sort of a
world wide "burn time".

I pray that Allah {swt} keep us away from what is harmful and dangerous to us. I pray that he make us strong in our Iman. {Ameen}

wasalaam :)

*** article from http://www.concept420.com/what-is-420.htm***

:::Tyte. word. of. the. Week.:::

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com


"Talking on my ghettro on the way to the store." -said by E-40 in the song "Tell Me When To Go"


wasalaam :P


***from www.urbandictionary.com***

la vida...

~Asalamu'alaykum wr wb~

A young, new ustadh (teacher) was walking with an older, more seasoned ustadh (teacher) in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what Allah had for him to do, he was asking the older ustadh for some advice. The older ustadh walked up to a rosebush and handed the young ustadh a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young ustadh looked in disbelief at the older ustadh and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of Allah for his life and ministry.But because of his great respect for the older ustadh, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact… It wasn’t long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger ustadh’s inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older ustadh began to recite the following poem…

It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah’s design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowersIs not known to such as I.
ALLAH opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allah’s design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So I’ll trust in Allah for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allah for His guidance
Each step of the way.

The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allah knows.
I’ll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

wasalaam :)

**story & poem originally seens on

http://yaallahoo.blogspot.com

lived thru yoga...

I just got back from Bikram Yoga (chk out my earlier post) & Alahumdulillah, I survived! Its such a great feeling to have worked out early in the morning cuz it sets a great tone for the rest of the day. I was pretty good and didn't have to sit once! InshAllah ima try to go tomorrow too!

anyways..heres somethng i always find hilarious..if u haven't already seen it, check it out. If you have seen it, just watch it again! lol :P

Funny Link

wasalaam :)

Couldn't sleep cuz of things on my mind...

Sometimes we're forced to make decisions that cause us great sadness. Even though our heart tells us to do one thing, our mind corrects us and rules out the the heart. Life just isn't fair at times and I hate that we have to make choices that require us to hurt others. Yet, sometimes the hurt of that moment outweighs more suffering in the longterm....

****

I feel a little lost sometimes, like a lil boat tossed about in the storm known as life. I pray that whatever decisions i do make in life are the right ones. I pray that Allah {swt} grant me and my friends sabr and suqoon. I pray that I am forgiven for any hurt I cause my friends.

La ilaha ila Allah wahdaho la shareeka lah, laholmolko wa laholhamdo wa howa 'ala koli shay'in qadeer

{ameen}


wasalaam :'(

~jummah mubarak~

stressed.

~Asalamwalaikum~

I feel stressed! :(

Somtimes my parents'll be like, you're so young and all you are is a student, what do you have to be stressed about? We have bills, a family to take care of, a house to run, blah blah blah ( zone em out @ this point). Mmm, being a student's stressful people! So many depending on you to succeed, get freakn' awesome grades and if you don't, hello! there's that risk of ending up a hobo on the streets, or worse, living in your parents basement & sending out rishta's via video dating. lol
...but seriously I'm sure a lot of students are going through final exam stress this month, and i'm no different. School would be so awesome if we didn't have exams! Actually, I think i'd do so much better without em. ::sigh:: Just wishful thinking, I know.

****

So, I decided to start yoga again. Don't laugh! Yoga's so not woosy and will totally kick your butt if you've never tried it. Recently though, some of my friends have been doing this new kinda yoga, Bikram Yoga and I think i'm totally gonna give it a try. Its done in a 105 deg. dry sauna for 90 mins! All those people in desert countries are probably thinking we're crazy paying money to exercise in the heat, but, hey! The only thing they ask is that you not leave the room! ahhh! Well, I won't knock it till i've tried it. iA ima go this Friday and let ya'll know if I survive!

alrighty later skaters!

wasalaam :P

Society's Ills

Once there were two students walking along a river. One of them just so happened to glance over at something floating in the river. It did not take long for him to realize that it was a baby! Without hesitation he jumped into the river to save the infant from drowning. When he jumped in he realized that there were at least ten more in his immediate area, all of them screaming and crying as they bobbed by.

Quite naturally he started screaming to the other student. "Help! C'mon man! Get in here! Look at all of these babies! We gotta help 'em!" The other student, however, kept walking upstream, despite noticing a river full of babies, with more and more floating downstream.

For every one that the first student saved, eight passed him. There were just too many."C'mon man! Don't you have a heart?! I can't grab all of these babies alone!"
The second student replied, "I'm going upstream to find out who's throwing all of these babies in the river."

The point of this short story is to demonstrate the importance of going to the source of the problem to have a greater impact. Many people address each of society's social ailments as separate entities. Thus we find numerous organizations that target a specific poison; The solution to racism, spouse abuse, child abuse, crime, pollution, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, and other social ills is one.

Each problem does not require its own organizations and groups to eliminate it. The solutions for all of these is one. That one, is Islam.

*~wasalaam~*

**story from themodernreligion.com**

<<>>

Double Mint #1

~*Salaam*~

So, I think i'm getting sick. :( I have a sore throat and the funny thing is, so does my sister. Sometimes, if I have a bagel & lox for lunch, she'll have one for lunch that day too. If I see a pair of boots I want to buy, my sister ends up buying those exact ones. If I order a green tea latte at starbucks, something I rarely do, guess what she'll be having that day? Yup, a green tea latte. I could go on and on cuz this happens all the time. We periodically buy similar things without any knowledge of the other having done so. And, ironically, my sister's about 3,000 miles away in California (while i'm in New York).

****

So how & why does this phenomenon take place?! Easy. It's the wierd & special bond identical twins share...Yup, alhumdulillah my sister and I are identical twins. Which, by the way, is another change I've had to cope with since moving to NY, living away from my twin. We have never been away from each other before this. And when I say never, I mean never ever. I remember one day back in elementary school, my sister stayed home sick while I went to school. After I got back home, we hugged like we'd been apart for years rather than just a few hours and we didn't leave each other's company the entire day. Even back then, we were best friends and alhumdulillah, that friendship has lasted still and iA I pray that this remains so for life.

****

You'd be surprised to know that some twins hate each other's guts, no joke. I've actually met some like that. How could you hate or be jealous of someone you spent 9 months with in the womb? I think being a twin's really cool! I mean yea you sometimes coming off being schizo when you refer to yourself in the "we," as in "we always go to South Coast" and the only person there with you is you. It's so funny when people give you an odd look and slowly back away, cuz then you realize, "Duh! Like they know you have twin dummy!" lol...But the best part is doing all the fun twin stuff, and trust me, we did a lot of it! Like switching places in high school & taking exams for each other, thank god my twin loves math, I think she saved my life! ::lol:: Could any normal siblings do that? no way?! :P

****

wasalaam,

Madiha

Quote.

...Wealth has no permanence: It comes in the morning, and at night it is scattered to the winds. Physical beauty too has no importance, for a rosy face is made pale by the scratch of a single thorn. Noble birth also is of small account, for many become fools of money and horses. Many a nobleman's son has disgraced his father by his wicked deeds.
Don't court a person full of talent either, even if he seems exquisite in that respect:
take warning from the example of Iblis. Iblis had knowledge, but since his love was not pure, he saw in Adam nothing but a figure of clay.

****

*~Mawlana Jalaluddin Rumi~*

On a side note: Two of my friends are flying in from LA & staying with me for a coupla days!!! And...my mom's sending me my shipment of kabobs & Power Bars. Like those things aren't found in Manhattan! ::lol:: But they're from home & that's wut makes em special! :P

wasalaam :)

ArE yOu SeRioUs!?!

Okay, so it seems that people have totally lost it! If you thought people carrying on entire conversations on cells in public were annoying, well you may find em annoying even in death cuz according to recent studies, people are taking those pieces of plastic to the grave! I have one question...who the heck gets reception that far down!?! LOL

****

Ireland's Sunday Tribune mourned the trend, complaining that the country's "love affair with the mobile phone has reached a new level," that is, six feet under. But the paper points out this is a phenomenon with historic roots, "as Viking warriors used to be buried with their weapons, and ancient Egyptians were buried with food, drink and all their earthly riches."

****

True enough. But they didn't have the comfort of the young man killed in a car crash, buried with his mobile phone at his side — according to his family — so that friends could text him farewell messages. A German inventor has reportedly taken that idea a step further. He's developed what's described as a one-way phone and loudspeaker device designed to be buried near a coffin, and which is supposed to be able to broadcast voice messages for up to a year.

****

Wow...wut would the messages read??? lol..OMG, I'm like cracking up w/ all the possibilities...but i'll control my message suggestions, cuz i dont wanna offend anyone. LMAO.



Wasalaam! :P

To read more on the phenomenon check out:

Cell Phones in The Hereafter